Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Friends
Forgive me now if this post hurts anybody's feelings. Its not intended to and I'll do my best to word things in a way that will express what I'm really trying to say. But just in case...I'm sorry if I offend you. This is not written with any specific person in mind and also does not include everybody.
What truly makes somebody a friend? Like a real friend? Because I have lots of friends...but right now I'm wondering which ones are the true friends. There are some that I have absolutely no doubt about; many, in fact. But there are some that I just wonder about...the ones that I would do anything for and yet feel like they really just aren't very invested in their relationship with me. Or that they just wouldn't even go to too much bother to be there for me...I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm being selfish and expecting too much...I don't know. Maybe I just want to feel like they actually care.
What truly makes somebody a friend? Like a real friend? Because I have lots of friends...but right now I'm wondering which ones are the true friends. There are some that I have absolutely no doubt about; many, in fact. But there are some that I just wonder about...the ones that I would do anything for and yet feel like they really just aren't very invested in their relationship with me. Or that they just wouldn't even go to too much bother to be there for me...I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm being selfish and expecting too much...I don't know. Maybe I just want to feel like they actually care.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Barcelona Top Ten
So last night I got back from the most wonderful weekend in Barcelona, Spain. It was perfect and I loved everything about it...but I'm going to try to narrow down my top ten favorite things about the weekend. They are in no particular order...because that really would be impossible to do.
1. I was in a city beside the ocean. Anyone who knows me knows that I love cities. They also know that I LOVE the ocean. Its my favorite place to be...so this was of course one of the main reasons that I wanted to go to Barcelona. And of course, it doesn't hurt that because its a seaside city, it reminded me of Lima. :)
2. I was in SPAIN, where they speak SPANISH. It was SO good to be back in a setting where I heard spanish everywhere and could communicate in Spanish anytime I wanted to. I really didn't realize how much I missed it until I was back in it. I'm pretty sure the others on the trip appreciated it too...seeing as how we had to ask people stuff a lot. And the lady who gave us the keys to our apartment spoke absolutely no english.
3. The bodegas. This may seem small and insignificant, but I loved being back in a city where anytime we needed a little snack or something for dinner, there was a small little store within two blocks. Thats one of the things I miss most about Peru, so it was good to have that again.
4. The Sagrada Familia. This is a huge cathedral designed by Gaudi that began being built in 1882 and is supposed to be finished in 2026. It is absolutely amazing...you can see pictures on my facebook si quieres. :) We didn't go in because it was expensive and crowded, but it was so worth seeing from the outside.
5. The metro system. Barcelona has a very good public transportation system...another thing I miss about Peru. But the great thing about Barcelona is that the metro is consistent and CHEAP. We bought passes at the beginning of the trip for 8 euros each. That gave each of us ten trips and we used exactly that many. We didn't need more and none of them went to waste. It was perfect. The metro also was like 3 minutes from our apartment, so that was super convenient and wonderful.
6. Chilling in the apartment. We had a great group of people on the trip, and the nice thing was that we all sort of got tired at the same time. So instead of staying out late in town every night, we just went back to the apartment and chilled and played games. It was so nice to get to rest on fall break.
7. The Beach. On Monday we went to the beach and spent a few hours there. It was a BEAUTIFUL day of about 80 degrees and we all got some sun, which was wonderful. I also got to play in the mediteranean sea. It was the bluest ocean I've ever seen in my whole life and the warmest water I've ever been in. It was fantabulous.
8. Charicatures. Lexie and I decided to have our charicatures drawn. They are hideous. But hilarious. Enough said.
9. Independence. It was so much fun to travel across Europe with friends my age and have planned the trip ourselves. We successfully got everywhere we needed to go...had places to stay, food to eat, etc...all by ourselves. It was a great feeling. Next continent: Australia. :)
10. The People. I was so blessed to get to do this with a great group of people. We all worked together so well (most of the time) and each of us got to do something we really wanted to do. We never had a battle of wills on where we should go and we all were patient even in places we didn't neccesarily want to be. It really was perfect. God is good :) It was a great trip. SO good.
1. I was in a city beside the ocean. Anyone who knows me knows that I love cities. They also know that I LOVE the ocean. Its my favorite place to be...so this was of course one of the main reasons that I wanted to go to Barcelona. And of course, it doesn't hurt that because its a seaside city, it reminded me of Lima. :)
2. I was in SPAIN, where they speak SPANISH. It was SO good to be back in a setting where I heard spanish everywhere and could communicate in Spanish anytime I wanted to. I really didn't realize how much I missed it until I was back in it. I'm pretty sure the others on the trip appreciated it too...seeing as how we had to ask people stuff a lot. And the lady who gave us the keys to our apartment spoke absolutely no english.
3. The bodegas. This may seem small and insignificant, but I loved being back in a city where anytime we needed a little snack or something for dinner, there was a small little store within two blocks. Thats one of the things I miss most about Peru, so it was good to have that again.
4. The Sagrada Familia. This is a huge cathedral designed by Gaudi that began being built in 1882 and is supposed to be finished in 2026. It is absolutely amazing...you can see pictures on my facebook si quieres. :) We didn't go in because it was expensive and crowded, but it was so worth seeing from the outside.
5. The metro system. Barcelona has a very good public transportation system...another thing I miss about Peru. But the great thing about Barcelona is that the metro is consistent and CHEAP. We bought passes at the beginning of the trip for 8 euros each. That gave each of us ten trips and we used exactly that many. We didn't need more and none of them went to waste. It was perfect. The metro also was like 3 minutes from our apartment, so that was super convenient and wonderful.
6. Chilling in the apartment. We had a great group of people on the trip, and the nice thing was that we all sort of got tired at the same time. So instead of staying out late in town every night, we just went back to the apartment and chilled and played games. It was so nice to get to rest on fall break.
7. The Beach. On Monday we went to the beach and spent a few hours there. It was a BEAUTIFUL day of about 80 degrees and we all got some sun, which was wonderful. I also got to play in the mediteranean sea. It was the bluest ocean I've ever seen in my whole life and the warmest water I've ever been in. It was fantabulous.
8. Charicatures. Lexie and I decided to have our charicatures drawn. They are hideous. But hilarious. Enough said.
9. Independence. It was so much fun to travel across Europe with friends my age and have planned the trip ourselves. We successfully got everywhere we needed to go...had places to stay, food to eat, etc...all by ourselves. It was a great feeling. Next continent: Australia. :)
10. The People. I was so blessed to get to do this with a great group of people. We all worked together so well (most of the time) and each of us got to do something we really wanted to do. We never had a battle of wills on where we should go and we all were patient even in places we didn't neccesarily want to be. It really was perfect. God is good :) It was a great trip. SO good.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Dreams
Letting go of the dreams of you and me
I know I have to
But they were so beautiful
And I fell in love
Not just with you
But with the possibilities as well
Possibilities for a future
Together
And now I'm working to let go
Wondering how you can make it look so easy
And wondering why its been so hard
For me
But every day I open my hands
Just a little bit more
And soon God will give me new
Dreams
His dreams
And I'll fall in love again
With His perfect dreams
I know I have to
But they were so beautiful
And I fell in love
Not just with you
But with the possibilities as well
Possibilities for a future
Together
And now I'm working to let go
Wondering how you can make it look so easy
And wondering why its been so hard
For me
But every day I open my hands
Just a little bit more
And soon God will give me new
Dreams
His dreams
And I'll fall in love again
With His perfect dreams
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Yeah. He's still good.
So my very very few followers can attest to the fact that I have not blogged anything significant in a very long time. My most recent posts have basically been me lamenting about the problems in my life...in very vague ways. I have not shared anything specific or very personal. For that...I'm sorry.
I'm ready to share a little bit more, however, I apologize in advance if this blog simply leads to more confusion rather than clarification. My life hasn't exactly been easy during these last few months. After school ended last semester I went to California to live and work with my cousin. Being with my cousin was absolutely fantastic. Working in a california fruit packing shed was not. It was long, demanding hours of standing and not talking. Although a full day was eight hours, our average day was twelve. My feet and back hurt at the end of the day, and unfortunately, we always had to go back the next morning.
On top of this, I was trying to maintain relationships with friends not only from Jbu but also from Peru. With so much work, my time to spend on skype or on the phone was limited. One relationship in particular took much of time and energy, and I spent a lot of time trying to make sure that it was good. Because of the nature of that relationship, I worried more about it and probably devoted too much time to analyzing every little thing that happened or was said, or not said. It took a lot of emotional energy.
Toward the end of the summer, that relationship changed and it hurt a lot. It still does. But God has a plan. I know this completely.
Anyways, I was blessed to spend several weeks in Siloam Springs in August. I spent lots of time with my JBU family, and with my own family, since they are living in Arkansas for the year. It was a nice time to reconnect with everybody and do the stuff "we do" before leaving them once again for three months. As any of you who have known me for a while know, goodbyes kill me. I have had to say them at least once a year for as long as I can remember but they have never gotten any easier. Saying goodbye to the people that I had been counting down for months to see again was very hard and I'll admit that I, once again, am too worried about things changing while I'm gone. (Yes, I know I need to learn not to worry. God is trying to teach me...and I'm trying to learn. But if I'm honest I have to say I haven't mastered it yet). Anyways, I told them all goodbye and flew halfway across the world to the absolutely beautiful country in which I'm a "tourist" for the next three months: Ireland.
This has already been such an incredible experience. Ireland is so beautiful and the people here are so nice. Irish people have such sweet personalities and their sense of humor is fantastic. I've thoroughly enjoyed my time here. The people I'm living with are also so very incredible. I couldn't have asked for a better group. We really enjoy each other and living in the manor together is so much fun. Classes started yesterday...but I'm not gonna lie, we have it better here than at JBU :). For example, Irish Art and Culture yesterday meant going to a museum and actually seeing the original artwork. In two weeks, it means going to Dublin to see some other exhibits. Don't worry though, we do real work too. And each class is three hours long...which is a long time, not gonna lie. Well, its almost time for lunch (which is going to be DELICIOUS, because Sarah is the most incredible cook ever), so I need to stop writing.
I just want to end saying life has not been simple or easy. Its been hard. But God is good. I'm so blessed. He is so good.
I'm ready to share a little bit more, however, I apologize in advance if this blog simply leads to more confusion rather than clarification. My life hasn't exactly been easy during these last few months. After school ended last semester I went to California to live and work with my cousin. Being with my cousin was absolutely fantastic. Working in a california fruit packing shed was not. It was long, demanding hours of standing and not talking. Although a full day was eight hours, our average day was twelve. My feet and back hurt at the end of the day, and unfortunately, we always had to go back the next morning.
On top of this, I was trying to maintain relationships with friends not only from Jbu but also from Peru. With so much work, my time to spend on skype or on the phone was limited. One relationship in particular took much of time and energy, and I spent a lot of time trying to make sure that it was good. Because of the nature of that relationship, I worried more about it and probably devoted too much time to analyzing every little thing that happened or was said, or not said. It took a lot of emotional energy.
Toward the end of the summer, that relationship changed and it hurt a lot. It still does. But God has a plan. I know this completely.
Anyways, I was blessed to spend several weeks in Siloam Springs in August. I spent lots of time with my JBU family, and with my own family, since they are living in Arkansas for the year. It was a nice time to reconnect with everybody and do the stuff "we do" before leaving them once again for three months. As any of you who have known me for a while know, goodbyes kill me. I have had to say them at least once a year for as long as I can remember but they have never gotten any easier. Saying goodbye to the people that I had been counting down for months to see again was very hard and I'll admit that I, once again, am too worried about things changing while I'm gone. (Yes, I know I need to learn not to worry. God is trying to teach me...and I'm trying to learn. But if I'm honest I have to say I haven't mastered it yet). Anyways, I told them all goodbye and flew halfway across the world to the absolutely beautiful country in which I'm a "tourist" for the next three months: Ireland.
This has already been such an incredible experience. Ireland is so beautiful and the people here are so nice. Irish people have such sweet personalities and their sense of humor is fantastic. I've thoroughly enjoyed my time here. The people I'm living with are also so very incredible. I couldn't have asked for a better group. We really enjoy each other and living in the manor together is so much fun. Classes started yesterday...but I'm not gonna lie, we have it better here than at JBU :). For example, Irish Art and Culture yesterday meant going to a museum and actually seeing the original artwork. In two weeks, it means going to Dublin to see some other exhibits. Don't worry though, we do real work too. And each class is three hours long...which is a long time, not gonna lie. Well, its almost time for lunch (which is going to be DELICIOUS, because Sarah is the most incredible cook ever), so I need to stop writing.
I just want to end saying life has not been simple or easy. Its been hard. But God is good. I'm so blessed. He is so good.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
For Jesus
It just hit me today that Easter is coming in a little over a week. I mean, I've been aware of it because I have a fabulous trip planned with friends...but I've been so excited for that three day weekend that I've let myself forget WHY we get that three day weekend. We get to celebrate the very basis for our faith! Jesus died and then in the biggest display of his power ever, he resurrected from the dead. I think that we hear this so much as Christians that the awe of what he did is suppressed. But today I was listening to a Christian radio station and they played two songs in a row that were specifically about the cross. It made me remember what is coming...and I am SO excited. I love Easter...I have even more the last few years of my life. Its just so exciting for me to think about how powerful and incredible my God is...how LOVING Jesus is to have suffered and died for me. In response to this...I'm giving up texting for Lent. I know it's a bit late...ok, a lot late. But still...this is a big thing for me. I spend too much time texting and text about things that would be better said in person anyways. I don't want my phone to replace face to face. I also want Jesus to know I love him more than the ability that technology has given me to have constant communication. He died for me. I can give Him this. So to finish...if you need to get in touch with me, just call. And I mean, if you need to let me know something really quick about where you are or whatever, feel free to just text it to me. Just don't expect me to respond. I'll call you if I need to. Love you guys :)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
So...
I screw up a lot. I'm sure you all know that. The more time I spend time with God...the more I see the problems. Just be patient with me, please. Jesus and I...we're working on it. I'm sorry if I have hurt any of you in my selfishness and lack of thinking.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Living for Christ
Yup, second post of the day...and its going to be short because I have small group...but I want to write this before I forget that I was going to.
Living for Christ isn't really about our actions. Yes, they are the evidence of living for Christ...but living for Christ is so much more than just what you do. Its the attitude your heart takes towards life. Its your motives and your thoughts. Its about being submissive to God, and LOVING him with all your heart. Actions are the the outward sign of a heart that lives for Christ.
I know I don't have this down...I'm talking to myself as much as anybody right now. But I do know that this is what I want. I honestly desire to live a life for CHRIST. I know better than anybody (except God) how much help I need...but the change has to take place on the inside, with my heart posture, before anything that happens on the outside matters....
Just some of my observations and thoughts :) take it or leave it. I'm gonna choose to take it.
Living for Christ isn't really about our actions. Yes, they are the evidence of living for Christ...but living for Christ is so much more than just what you do. Its the attitude your heart takes towards life. Its your motives and your thoughts. Its about being submissive to God, and LOVING him with all your heart. Actions are the the outward sign of a heart that lives for Christ.
I know I don't have this down...I'm talking to myself as much as anybody right now. But I do know that this is what I want. I honestly desire to live a life for CHRIST. I know better than anybody (except God) how much help I need...but the change has to take place on the inside, with my heart posture, before anything that happens on the outside matters....
Just some of my observations and thoughts :) take it or leave it. I'm gonna choose to take it.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
My God is INCREDIBLE.
Basically, I'm just really excited about how incredible my God is. I want to be like Jesus!
Just wanted to share that =)
Just wanted to share that =)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I'm asking for something big.
So I have this way of being scared to ask God for big things because I'm afraid that He isn't going to come through in the way that I want or expect. But I think God is challenging my fear. It started with a paper that I'm writing for english class...though I didn't realize that it did until after something else happened. Basically, I'm writing a paper about the role of prayer in two short stories that we read. For one of them I talk about the role of prayer in petitioning God. I made the claim that God is our Father and he wants to hear the desires of our hearts...the things we want and need. That is what I believe...but putting it into practice is hard!
Okay, so the second thing...I was sitting at my desk the other day and as happens often I started wandering around airplane ticket sites...looking for good deals to Peru. I began to analyze things like I always do, and realized that if I don't go to Peru soon (before the end of ICSL's school year), everything will be different and so many of the people that make it home might be gone. So I started to get a little bit teary, and decided that I REALLY want to go home for spring break. Teary became outright crying...something that doesn't happen a lot, but recently I've had more time to think about home...and its been happening...and I honestly just cried out to God asking Him to take me home for break. This prayer came from my heart, and I know that God heard it.
So then that night I went to passion...where we were going through Hebrews. In chapter five, this verse really caught my attention:
Hebrews 5:7
"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission."
So...this verse just really spoke to me because of where I had been just hours before. I was praying fervently to God in the midst of my tears. I just asked that he would provide a way for me to go home. If God can save me from death, he can provide this for me! I know that he can! At the same time, I want God's will, and if it isn't His will for me to go home next month, I'm going to be okay. Ultimately, its about what God's will is...but he knows the desires of my heart. And I'm choosing to believe in big things. I have seen God provide so much for so many people! They just asked and believed and God gave it to them. Its not about what they did, but about God's incredible desire to bless us and answer our prayers! So whatever he has is whats best. BUT I'M BELIEVING FOR SOMETHING BIG!
You may think I'm crazy...to ask for a ticket to go home for spring break. But I don't think I am. My God is big. And He does big things. I don't have the money to buy a ticket and I don't have enough miles for a free ticket. But that doesn't keep God from his thing. So I'm praying...and I'm trusting. My God is a good God. He is so good.
Okay, so the second thing...I was sitting at my desk the other day and as happens often I started wandering around airplane ticket sites...looking for good deals to Peru. I began to analyze things like I always do, and realized that if I don't go to Peru soon (before the end of ICSL's school year), everything will be different and so many of the people that make it home might be gone. So I started to get a little bit teary, and decided that I REALLY want to go home for spring break. Teary became outright crying...something that doesn't happen a lot, but recently I've had more time to think about home...and its been happening...and I honestly just cried out to God asking Him to take me home for break. This prayer came from my heart, and I know that God heard it.
So then that night I went to passion...where we were going through Hebrews. In chapter five, this verse really caught my attention:
Hebrews 5:7
"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission."
So...this verse just really spoke to me because of where I had been just hours before. I was praying fervently to God in the midst of my tears. I just asked that he would provide a way for me to go home. If God can save me from death, he can provide this for me! I know that he can! At the same time, I want God's will, and if it isn't His will for me to go home next month, I'm going to be okay. Ultimately, its about what God's will is...but he knows the desires of my heart. And I'm choosing to believe in big things. I have seen God provide so much for so many people! They just asked and believed and God gave it to them. Its not about what they did, but about God's incredible desire to bless us and answer our prayers! So whatever he has is whats best. BUT I'M BELIEVING FOR SOMETHING BIG!
You may think I'm crazy...to ask for a ticket to go home for spring break. But I don't think I am. My God is big. And He does big things. I don't have the money to buy a ticket and I don't have enough miles for a free ticket. But that doesn't keep God from his thing. So I'm praying...and I'm trusting. My God is a good God. He is so good.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Would I be crazy to quit college for a semester in order to go help out at ICSL (I could be Kathy McKinney and Laura Hintermeyer's personal office assistant :D) and to help with FNL and youth group? Because that sounds SO amazing. Uh oh! I'm beginning to sound like Josh...:S But really! My heart is still with everything that is happening in Peru!
Invest your Talents!
I've watched Angela's recording of the FNL band playing at Calvary Chapel at least 3 or 4 times now and I LOVE IT. It brings me so much joy. I know that at the most, I'm a year older than these guys, but I am so stinkin proud of them. I remember when most of these people started getting involved in leading worship. They have come so far! While I like to think I have a part in getting a couple of them to step out and get more involved, it wasn't me. And it wasn't them. Its God. He gave them talents and they were faithful to invest them -- they practice their instruments and take time to develop their musical skills -- so now He is being faithful to add to them. They have more opportunities to play for his glory. More people have the opportunity to see Christ in their music and their worship.
He'll do that with all of us. Just like the parable of the talents, when we wisely invest the talents that He's given us and take seriously the responsibilities that He's given us, he'll add to it. He'll give us more talent and more responsibility, and more blessing with it. So don't be afraid to step out, even if you don't have very much talent to begin with. The servant that the master gave only one talent to could have chosen to do something with them. Then he would have been added unto also. But he was scared, and all he had was taken away. Don't let that be you. Trust God with your talents. He's given them to you for a reason, and its NOT to bring yourself glory. Its to glorify God! So just trust Him and step out. Let Him take care of the details. =)
And really quick, I feel like a mom proud of her kids for Sunday night! You guys brought happy tears to my eyes ;)
He'll do that with all of us. Just like the parable of the talents, when we wisely invest the talents that He's given us and take seriously the responsibilities that He's given us, he'll add to it. He'll give us more talent and more responsibility, and more blessing with it. So don't be afraid to step out, even if you don't have very much talent to begin with. The servant that the master gave only one talent to could have chosen to do something with them. Then he would have been added unto also. But he was scared, and all he had was taken away. Don't let that be you. Trust God with your talents. He's given them to you for a reason, and its NOT to bring yourself glory. Its to glorify God! So just trust Him and step out. Let Him take care of the details. =)
And really quick, I feel like a mom proud of her kids for Sunday night! You guys brought happy tears to my eyes ;)
Friday, January 7, 2011
God is Good
Its been quite a while since I've written anything. I like to write on here...but I don't think people read it, so I don't really bother most of the time. And I haven't felt much inspiration lately...but I think I'm feeling a little bit tonight, even though I really should be packing my stuff so that it fits in my suitcase to go back to Arkansas.
This Christmas break has been wonderful and it has been hard. It was wonderful because I got to see my family at a long semester at school. I missed them so much and it was just so wonderful to get to spend time with them again. It was wonderful because I got to go to Colorado and spend time in my favorite homestate. :) I got to spend time with my precious cousins. It was wonderful because when we got to California I got to see my aunts, uncles, and cousins. I love them all so very much...my favorite people in the world. It was wonderful because I got to know Anna, Lukas' girlfriend, better. It was wonderful because I got to spend two Sundays at a Church that I wish I could go to regularly. It was wonderful because I got to spend time with my Grandma and Grandpa Keagy, something that I love to do! It was wonderful because I got to eat my mom's delicious food and I got to watch my favorite TV shows in the whole world every night. It was wonderful because school was the farthest thing from my mind and I was able to relax.
But it was also hard. It was hard because in the back of my mind I knew that I wasn't in Peru. It was hard because as I was anticipating it, I kept thinking, "I can't imagine how amazing it would feel right now if I was getting on an airplane this week and flying home." It was hard because I knew that at the end of the break I would be saying goodbye to my wonderful family. It was hard because we were packing up the farm house, a place that has held many joyful and many painful memories for me. It was hard because I saying goodbye to the last place that I have memories with my grandma in. It was hard because I didn't take as much advantage of my time with my family as I could have. It was hard because at 3:00 this morning, I woke up and said goodbye to my mom, dad, and Levi for an indefinite amount of time. It was hard because I don't know when I'm going to see them again. It was hard because it made me miss all of this more...it made me miss things that I could have if I was going to college closer to "home," or at least closer to the family taht I have here in California.
But God is good. He took what could have been a very very painful day and he gave me the gift of seeing one of my best friends from Peru, Josh. He provided for Lukas and I to spend 4 hours just hanging out with him and catching up on our lives. He allowed us to have quality time with Grandma and Grandpa tonight after dinner just talking. He provided reassurance at 3:30 this morning when I couldn't fall back asleep that its OK that my parents are on a different continent than I am and that I don't know when I will see them again: they have to go back to Peru so that they can serve God and I have to go to Arkansas so that I can serve God. He orchestrated everything so that I my brother and I can go to school together. He is SO good.
My heart hurts right now and my eyes are a bit swollen. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my family and I ache to go home to Peru...but God is good. He is good.
This Christmas break has been wonderful and it has been hard. It was wonderful because I got to see my family at a long semester at school. I missed them so much and it was just so wonderful to get to spend time with them again. It was wonderful because I got to go to Colorado and spend time in my favorite homestate. :) I got to spend time with my precious cousins. It was wonderful because when we got to California I got to see my aunts, uncles, and cousins. I love them all so very much...my favorite people in the world. It was wonderful because I got to know Anna, Lukas' girlfriend, better. It was wonderful because I got to spend two Sundays at a Church that I wish I could go to regularly. It was wonderful because I got to spend time with my Grandma and Grandpa Keagy, something that I love to do! It was wonderful because I got to eat my mom's delicious food and I got to watch my favorite TV shows in the whole world every night. It was wonderful because school was the farthest thing from my mind and I was able to relax.
But it was also hard. It was hard because in the back of my mind I knew that I wasn't in Peru. It was hard because as I was anticipating it, I kept thinking, "I can't imagine how amazing it would feel right now if I was getting on an airplane this week and flying home." It was hard because I knew that at the end of the break I would be saying goodbye to my wonderful family. It was hard because we were packing up the farm house, a place that has held many joyful and many painful memories for me. It was hard because I saying goodbye to the last place that I have memories with my grandma in. It was hard because I didn't take as much advantage of my time with my family as I could have. It was hard because at 3:00 this morning, I woke up and said goodbye to my mom, dad, and Levi for an indefinite amount of time. It was hard because I don't know when I'm going to see them again. It was hard because it made me miss all of this more...it made me miss things that I could have if I was going to college closer to "home," or at least closer to the family taht I have here in California.
But God is good. He took what could have been a very very painful day and he gave me the gift of seeing one of my best friends from Peru, Josh. He provided for Lukas and I to spend 4 hours just hanging out with him and catching up on our lives. He allowed us to have quality time with Grandma and Grandpa tonight after dinner just talking. He provided reassurance at 3:30 this morning when I couldn't fall back asleep that its OK that my parents are on a different continent than I am and that I don't know when I will see them again: they have to go back to Peru so that they can serve God and I have to go to Arkansas so that I can serve God. He orchestrated everything so that I my brother and I can go to school together. He is SO good.
My heart hurts right now and my eyes are a bit swollen. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my family and I ache to go home to Peru...but God is good. He is good.
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