I'm having doubts that I will be able to survive college. Why has this been so hard for me?

I was encouraged

Today, my heart was encouraged. Here is a brief list describing why:

1) I woke up to rain clouds. I'm from the jungle. I love rain.

2) I got to eat lunch with this amazing girl named Allie. She is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met and she gives great hugs. She is also from Colorado Springs :)

3) I checked my mail box and found a REAL letter in it. It was from a couple that I have spent a limited amount of time with, yet they sent me a card. It even had some cash in it. I don't know why they sent it...but they were a blessing in doing so.

4) North had a worship night. If you know me, you know I love worship. My heart needed this. And God is so good. He deserves our worship. AND, He is so good that He has made it so that when we worship him, we ourselves are refreshed. He is so good.

5) I'm drinking mint tea.

Disclaimer

The new blog on my profile, called "Lynea's Mind", is for a class. I repeat, it is for a class. I do not simply sit pondering these things on my own accord. I do have a life outside of my mind, I promise. :)

Public Transportation

I miss public transportation. And I miss my big city. I feel trapped here without a car or license. I just want to get out of Siloam Springs for a few hours but its so hard in this country.

An observation

Friends are more fun before they get a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Am I losing myself?

I feel like I'm losing myself. Yes, that sounds dramatic and in all honesty I don't know if it really is dramatic or not. Let me explain a little bit further.

In Peru, I was involved in many things: praise band, student council, BLOOM, youth group leadership, teacher's aid, etc. I loved doing so much. I loved the contact that it gave me with other people. I loved walking down the hallways at school saying hi to people, or being the recipient of a hug from the middle school girls. I was never timid or shy when it came to introducing myself to people and welcoming the new kid.

Now I am the new kid, along with several hundred other freshmen. I am new to this school, and this school is new to me. I am completely out of my comfort zone, and it is throwing me off. No longer do I find it easy to start a conversation with somebody I don't know. I want to introduce myself to people and get to know them, but its like I'm always waiting for them to make the first move and they don't. What has happened to the real Lynea? The one who loved talking to everybody at youth group...is she gone? I don't think so...but how long will it take for her to emerge again? I miss her.