So I have this way of being scared to ask God for big things because I'm afraid that He isn't going to come through in the way that I want or expect. But I think God is challenging my fear. It started with a paper that I'm writing for english class...though I didn't realize that it did until after something else happened. Basically, I'm writing a paper about the role of prayer in two short stories that we read. For one of them I talk about the role of prayer in petitioning God. I made the claim that God is our Father and he wants to hear the desires of our hearts...the things we want and need. That is what I believe...but putting it into practice is hard!
Okay, so the second thing...I was sitting at my desk the other day and as happens often I started wandering around airplane ticket sites...looking for good deals to Peru. I began to analyze things like I always do, and realized that if I don't go to Peru soon (before the end of ICSL's school year), everything will be different and so many of the people that make it home might be gone. So I started to get a little bit teary, and decided that I REALLY want to go home for spring break. Teary became outright crying...something that doesn't happen a lot, but recently I've had more time to think about home...and its been happening...and I honestly just cried out to God asking Him to take me home for break. This prayer came from my heart, and I know that God heard it.
So then that night I went to passion...where we were going through Hebrews. In chapter five, this verse really caught my attention:
Hebrews 5:7
"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission."
So...this verse just really spoke to me because of where I had been just hours before. I was praying fervently to God in the midst of my tears. I just asked that he would provide a way for me to go home. If God can save me from death, he can provide this for me! I know that he can! At the same time, I want God's will, and if it isn't His will for me to go home next month, I'm going to be okay. Ultimately, its about what God's will is...but he knows the desires of my heart. And I'm choosing to believe in big things. I have seen God provide so much for so many people! They just asked and believed and God gave it to them. Its not about what they did, but about God's incredible desire to bless us and answer our prayers! So whatever he has is whats best. BUT I'M BELIEVING FOR SOMETHING BIG!
You may think I'm crazy...to ask for a ticket to go home for spring break. But I don't think I am. My God is big. And He does big things. I don't have the money to buy a ticket and I don't have enough miles for a free ticket. But that doesn't keep God from his thing. So I'm praying...and I'm trusting. My God is a good God. He is so good.
I really enjoyed reading this. Trying to take the power of prayer seriously is a really hard thing to do. I usually have trouble with it because I do believe that God hears me and can do what I'm asking Him, but I'm so afraid that He'll choose not to and I'll end up hanging my hopes on aomething that doesn't come through. I guess the real fear for me what kind of effect it would have on my faith to rely on God for something big and then have that something not turn out. However, this is just when I'm afraid, because I've seen enough of God in my family and in the people around me to know that even if God chooses not to give me what I ask for--like a plane ticket to Peru--He is still the God who sacrificed everything He loves in order to save me and He only has my best interests at heart. So I guess what I'm saying is that even if your plane ticket isn't provided, as painful as that would be, the important thing is to remember that God has His reasons. Thank Him anyway, and let Him know how you feel, but that you understand--as much as anyone in that position can.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this!